Hi anon. I’m sorry I didn’t respond to this sooner. That is a difficult question but I will do my best to answer it.
Because this blog is for male assigned people I wrote this assuming you were assigned male, but most of it should still work if you are not.
I think knowing whether you are trans is very hard. Maybe we should look at why this is an important thing to find out. I think there are two reasons it is important.
Reason one: you are not happy with the way other people treat you.
What I mean by this is that the way people talk about your gender makes you uncomfortable. Maybe the words they use to talk to you or talk about you make you feel bad. Things like ‘he, him, his’ or ‘you are a man’. Maybe your name makes you feel uncomfortable because people think it is a ‘boys name’.
If those things make you feel bad then you could try asking some people you trust to talk about you in a different way, for instance asking them to call you ‘she, her hers’ or ‘they, them, theirs’, c’a genderless person’. There are many words like this you could try. It would be difficult to make a complete list of them but people could post more words if that would help you. You could also try asking some people you trust to call you by a different name. It can be any name you can think of.
If making these changes makes you feel better, or less uncomfortable, then I think this would mean that you are trans.
Reason two: you are not happy with the way your body is. What I mean by this is that some parts or features of your body make you uncomfortable. i think people that aren’t trans experience this too, but what makes it to do with being trans is when the parts of the body that make you uncomfortable are parts of the body most people say are ‘boy parts’ or ‘boy things’. some common examples are: the things that happen to your body because of testosterone (deep voice, facial hair growth, particular muscle growth), having a penis, not having breasts. You might feel bad or uncomfortable about many things or just about one thing. Both are OK.
It is very difficult to ‘try out’ changing this kind of thing. I’m not really sure how you know that changing your body will make you less uncomfortable. Sorry I can’t be more help about that.
But I think if gendered features of your body (bits that people usually say are ‘boy things’ or ‘boy parts’) make you uncomfortable then this probably means you are trans.
If one or both of these is how you feel, then yes I think you are trans. If both of these are definitely not true then I think you are definitely not trans. This doesn’t mean you have to do things other trans people do, it just means that you are trans. I hope that makes sense. What I am trying to say is that just because I have said you are trans, you shouldn’t feel like you have to look a certain way or do certain things because they are things trans people are ‘supposed to do’. I don’t think trans people are ‘supposed’ to do anything, any more than anyone else is ‘supposed’ to do anything.
One thing I will say is that it is possible that you feel uncomfortable about the way that you dress or behave. Many trans people feel like this but feeling like this does not mean you are trans. Many people who aren’t trans feel like this too.
But if you want to dress differently or behave differently, you still deserve respect and you deserve to be safe and happy.
And a lot of advice on this blog might still be helpful to you and that is OK.
I hope this answers your question. If not please let me know.
And other people please feel free to ask questions or give advice and I will publish it.
reblogging this again in case anyone finds it useful.