and other skills your cis parents didn't tell you about.

Anonymous asked: I've been wrestling with how and when to come out for years now. A few days ago, I came out to my friends and family and the response has been overwhelmingly positive, better than I could have possibly hoped. My question is, what do I do now? I want to begin transitioning asap, but I don't know the next step I should take. Do you have any advice for someone like me? Where do I go from here?

Hi anon! I’m so happy that coming out went so well for you! You are very brave to have done so :)

I think what you do now is up to you. You can set your own priorities and decide what it is you need.

Some things to bear in mind though are that some things take more time than others, and some things have waiting lists or cost money.

In our archives there are posts about elements of transitioning that you might be interested in such as clothes, facial/body hair removal, hormone therapy, surgeries and voice coaching. Some things you can start practicing/doing on your own, other things you might need professional help with.

Have a think about what changes would make you feel comfortable with your body/presentation and start working on achieving those changes.

Good luck! :)


Anonymous asked: there's a problem with that UGE breast form thing... you are required to pick them up at their location in Montreal, Quebec.

oh noo! i’m sorry i didn’t realise :(


PWYC Breast Forms and Bras!





Union for Gender Empowerment Breast Form & Bra Pilot Project! This project aims to make breast forms and bras more accessible to trans women and trans feminine folks. Breast forms can cost upwards of $200(!) and the project offer a a variety of breast forms, body-tailored, and at a pay-what-you-can rate out of our co-op!

hey folks, this is the by-donation Breast Form and Bra pilot project we’ve launched with the UGE - now with a webpage and order form and everything!
we’re based out of montreal, and generally cater to folks in the city, but for more info feel free to contact us at unionforgenderempowerment@gmail.com !

**please reblog and signal boost to get the word out** 

we’re really stoked to be offering this service pwyc/by-donation and helping in making gender empowerment items for trans women and trans feminine folks more accessible(!)

reblobbin’ again because I keep seeing giveaways and contests etc. for breast forms that have 30,000+ notes and this is basically *like* that, except you get breast forms / undergarments every. single. time. cuz there’s no draw! cuz you can order them through us at whatever price you can afford (which can be $0)! OK!

Signal boost for our DMAB followers!

Signal boost!!

(via just-exquisite)

Anonymous asked: hi, I'm a 15 year old gay boy and I have been thinking about transitioning lately, but I've never tucked before. I've tried many times, many methods, but I can't find the canal! Do you have any videos or pictures that may help me? Also, would this be an OK thing to ask a doctor about? thank you so much!

sorry, i don’t have any pictures or videos of how to do it but there are several posts on this blog explaining it and some links to places like susansplace (a crossdressing site) that have some pictures i think. it’s worth looking on youtube and googling it also i think.


here is a kind of semi masterpost of things that have been posted before

it’s ok to ask a doctor about it, but i don’t know how specific they’ll be able to be about the process because i don’t think many doctors know it’s even possible.


a guide directed for FTM transition was already posted, so I pulled up some old links I had bookmarked for dmab/transgender women to aid transition! 

sewing pattern for silicone bead forms
low budget diy breast forms [video] 
creating cleavage with bras [video] 
"illusion" cleavage with makeup [video] 

tucking and creating gaffe [video] 
tucking forum and thread 

wigs and hair
quality low budget wigs
cute hairstyles on pinterest
more cute short femme hair
hairstyle guide & beauty

tutorials for beginners
quality makeup for less money
choosing foundation
ask mod li about makeup

surgery & hrt guides 
surgery booklet 
hrt booklet

housing, crisis lines and help 
trans-friendly shelter guide
self harm & lgbtq support
stay safe! xoxo ♡ mod li

EDIT: It has been brought to my attention that susansplace can potentially have triggering material and users. Please proceed with caution.

(via just-exquisite)

Anonymous asked: i want to get an orchidectomy when im older after i get ffs and i was wondering how painful it was

does anyone here have first hand experience of an orchidectomy?


moon-fucker asked: I saw the diagram on your blog showing the inguinal canal and the abdominal things and it got me curious is it possible to actually push them past the the inguinal canal and actually into the abdomen? referencing post 72546847119 of yours

I have never heard of anyone doing this, but that doesn’t mean it’s not possible. It might be dangerous, though.

Does anyone know anything about this?


Anonymous asked: Hi, I'm a MtF myself and just found out about your page. You're awesome! I'm myself from middle europe and I'm nearing the "end" of my journey towards transition. Would you mind if I linked your tumblr on generally-agreed-as-official TS forums?

of course, that’s fine :)

also would you mind linking us the forums? i don’t really know any :#)


Anonymous asked: I have a couple questions regarding transitioning. First, how late is "too late" for a complete transition m -> f? I ask this because I heard it was extremely expensive, and can take years of awkward phasing to for a complete change, and I'm currently a college student. If things go well for me, I'll be in my late 20s at my earliest before I can begin the process, and I don't want to go through all that trouble if the end result isn't "passable". That's my biggest fear.

Second, how “complete” is a complete transition? I heard that it’s possible to transition completely in that regard, but I don’t know exactly how far medical science has come in this area. What is the end result of a m -> f genital operation? Is it possible to make your body produce female hormones rather than male hormones? In short, is it possible to become no different than “natural born” women?

Finally, I’m afraid to come out to my friends and family. My family is fairly liberal, so I know they would accept me, but a part of me remains afraid. I don’t exactly know how they will react, and I’m afraid of the small chance that they’ll reject my coming out. It’s impossible for me to take steps to transition unless I do come out, I know, but I’m afraid. I love my family and friends more than anything else in the world, and I don’t want risk losing them.

(I want to apologize for being so straightforward. I’m also sorry if I was igorant in asking any of my questions. I don’t know a great deal about transitioning, but I recently decided to take steps to learn. I’m also sorry if I asked too many questions. You are literally the first person I’ve ever confided in, and it would mean a lot to me if you could find the time to help me.)

Hello! Thank you for writing. I can imagine it was very scary for you but I am glad you did :) I can really identify with how you feel, before I came out I had a lot of the same anxieties and concerns.

It sounds like you have two main concerns:

  1. can my body look/function how I want it to?
  2. will people accept me as a woman?

I’ll start with the body stuff.

It sounds like your desires for your body are the things that society tells you ‘being a woman’ involves:

  • Vulva (clitoris, labia, vagina)
  • Breasts
  • Produces oestrogen
  • Able to bear children

Firstly, there isn’t such a thing as ‘too late’ when it comes to transitioning. I believe I read somewhere that the average age for women to transition is about 40, but really no one else has a right to decide you are ‘too old’ to transition no matter how old you are. However, there are certain advantages and disadvantages to transitioning when you are younger rather than waiting. There isn’t really a ‘perfect time’ to transition.

Regarding what medical science can do for you, here is what you can expect, assuming you can get access to it (money, location and oppression based on sexuality, race etc. might affect your ability to access some things).


  • You can have a working vulva, with a vagina that can be penetrated and a clitoris that can be stimulated by touch/pressure. Appearance and function vary a little depending on the surgeon and patient.
  • Most people cannot tell the difference between a vulva that was surgically reconstructed and one that was not. I’ve heard stories of gynaecologists not being able to identify a surgically reconstructed vulva. All vulvae are a little different to each other anyway.
  • The vagina itself (the ‘hole’) might not be quite as deep, or as sensitive as the average natal vagina. Most surgically reconstructed vaginas have a depth of between 5 and 7 inches. I think most people think the difference in depth is fairly negligible. You WILL NOT have a g-spot inside your vagina to my knowledge, but you will still have a g-spot in your anus if you had one there before (your prostate doesn’t get affected by surgery).
  • THERE IS A SMALL RISK that you might end up losing all or some sensitivity in your vulva during surgery, although I think this is quite rare.
  • You WILL HAVE TO dilate your vagina regularly, which means putting a device called a dilator (kind of like a dildo I think?) inside it to keep its shape and depth. If you don’t dilate your vagina I think it would close up eventually. Current medical science can’t get the body to stop treating the vagina as a wound and trying to ‘heal’ it.
  • I think I heard somewhere that the angle of the vagina was a little different, it doesn’t have quite the same curve to it. I don’t know if this is important to you. If it is I suggest you do some more research.
  • The vulva is constructed usually from your penis/scrotal tissue but if there isn’t enough ‘material’ sometimes they use some of the tissue from your bowels (inside your anus). I don’t know much about this but I know it’s not as ideal as using genital tissue.


  • Your testicles produce testosterone. There are drugs you can take that stop them from producing it, or that stop your body from receiving it. Usually this is in the short term (up to a few years typically) until you are able to have some form of surgery to remove the testicles (either having a vulva constructed or simply having the testicles removed which is called an orchidectomy). The reason this is a short term thing is because those drugs are not particularly healthy to take long-term.
  • Your body most likely does not, and will never, have a way of producing its own oestrogen/progesterone. If you choose to transition a doctor will do blood tests and stuff to check this is the case. There is a chance you have an intersex condition that causes you to produce your own oestrogen/progesterone but you will most likely need to take more in drug form anyway.
  • Post-surgery your body would no longer produce any ‘sex hormones’ and you would need to take oestrogen either as a pill or in a gel (there might be other methods of taking it I don’t know about). Usually this is a once-a-day thing.
  • Progesterone is not typically prescribed by many doctors but some do prescribe it upon request. There is a lot of debate as to its usefulness and what effects it has. The people who claim it is useful claim it improves breast growth and the ability to put on body fat in certain places. I think someone said once it also increased their sex drive but I might be misremembering that. You would have to do your own research and make up your own mind about progesterone I think as it is outside my knowledge.
  • The effects of oestrogen and testosterone upon your body are quite complicated and perhaps not best detailed here. Assuming you have already been through a ‘testosterone puberty’ your body will probably have already been affected by testosterone (voice deepening, facial hair growing, facial structure changes), but the older you get the more pronounced some of those effects will become (things like hair loss, darkening and spread of body hair, skin tightening). Stopping the flow of testosterone will stop that process but won’t reverse some of the effects.
  • Oestrogen WILL make you grow breasts but they might be a little smaller than others’. Breasts come in all shapes types and sizes but because testosterone tends to make your chest broader you might find average-sized breasts look a little smaller on a broader chest.
  • Overall I think it’s best to think of hormones as creating subtle changes because although sometimes people have great results from them, there are some things they cannot change and some people don’t get very dramatic changes when replacing their hormones.


  • Genital surgery of almost any type will make you sterile. Your testicles produce sperm so if you remove them you won’t be able to produce it anymore.
  • Taking hormones suppresses your fertility but there is still a chance of you being able to produce fertile sperm, so you still need to have protected sex to avoid a chance of pregnancy.
  • Taking drugs to stop your body producing/receiving testosterone makes you almost completely sterile.
  • Current medical science is not capable of allowing you to bear children. Your body will never produce eggs or have a uterus capable of incubating a fetus, unless you were born with a body that could already do that.

Firstly, there isn’t such a thing as ‘too late’ when it comes to transitioning. I believe I read somewhere that the average age for women to transition is about 40, but really no one else has a right to decide you are ‘too old’ to transition no matter how old you are. However, there are certain advantages and disadvantages to transitioning when you are younger rather than waiting. There isn’t really a ‘perfect time’ to transition.

Because of what I said about testosterone having more and more effect as you get older, it is likely that the longer you wait to stop that process (either through drugs or surgery) the more visibly trans you are likely to be. However, on the reverse side, I think younger women tend to be held to a much stricter standard of femininity than older women, so as you get older things might get a bit easier from that perspective. Also most young people have less money/ability to earn money, 

Cost wise it depends what country you are in because some countries have nationalised healthcare where you can get treatment for free. Other countries I think generally genital surgery costs about £10,000 which you could convert to your local currency, but it’s difficult to say how much a ‘transition’ costs because transition means different things to different people.

Moving on to the “will society see me as a woman?” part…

This is a very complicated question. A lot of trans people put a lot of effort into being seen as women by everyone they meet, or at least by strangers, with mixed results. It’s impossible to give a yes or no answer because a lot of it depends on how much time you spend learning/practising certain skills (the kind of skills this blog is about teaching/improving) but it also depends heavily on things outside your control such as your age, what hormone levels you had during puberty, your genetics etc. etc.

There will almost definitely be a period of at least a year while you are transitioning where you will be visibly trans. Some people do manage to avoid this usually by a combination of luck (because their genetics had given them characteristics people perceive as feminine) and through incredibly careful planning and skill.

I am going to open this question up to followers to supply more information and their experiences if they wish, and will tag their responses #anon1. you can go to www.tuckingandotherskills.tumblr.com/tagged/anon1 to view all the responses.

Good luck anon and I hope things go well for you. If there’s anything I missed or if you want to ask followup questions please do!


this pdf is a good explanation of how surgery is done in the uk, which is similar to the US and many other countries.

With love,